Went to Bible college last night. First time back, video conferencing was good but made me cry, as they talked about grief and how important it is that you keep showing up at church and spiritual things and keep going through the motions even if you don’t feel like it. And to be fair the lecturer speaking does kind of know what it’s like as they lost their Dad just before Christmas, so much respect and love for them. Had a little cry at the back to myself. Next lecturer was a recorded one but I felt totally exhausted like I’d been awake for 3 days, so didn’t catch much of it. However when I climbed into bed not that much later I was totally awake again. Woke up this morning and my lodger left and suddenly I was enveloped in grief, sobbed so hard thought I might explode. It’s true that you can’t even imagine what this is going to be like. And you wouldn’t want to either.