Tag Archives: pain

Circles and cycles. 

The so called “5 stages of grief” are not straight forward for anyone as everyone is different and behave and act differently and have different stages some more, some less. For me I am back  where I was a few … Continue reading

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Zero

When John died it’s like everything went to zero. That may not be true but that is how it felt and still feels at times. It’s like every single day I start at zero and some how through out the … Continue reading

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Lost

Even as I write I’m annoyed, frustrated, fed up and sad. Only lasted 35 mins at church. Didn’t even make the preaching. Started crying when I left my house. When I got to church and saw my friend outside absolutely … Continue reading

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Complex

At church worship practice again. Trying to work my little complex self out. Every time I come to church I am just overwhelmed with sadness….but when music is played tears are unstoppable regardless of whether it’s upbeat or slow and … Continue reading

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Interesting

Love my degree course and my Theological College and my lecturers, because they all teach me how to discover more about The Lord. Navigating this Residential while grieving is interesting, I won’t lie, it’s hard and yet I’m still enjoying … Continue reading

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Unpredictable

Quick post. At Theological Degree Residential. Have been honestly looking forward to this for such a long time. Genuinely excited about it. Got up this morning to travel down and wanted to burst into tears the whole way down, now … Continue reading

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Complicated attending Part 2

Cried all the way to church today. Cried when I arrived, cried through the worship, and when I really cry, tears come even when I’m not crying… that’s a bit weird. Cried during the announcements as they announced something that … Continue reading

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Pendulum 

Bereavement counselling was rough yesterday. I think cause the week had been filled with loads of emotions, happy and sad that going through it all with my counsellor felt like I was swinging through a weeks emotions in an hour. … Continue reading

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Without You

I’ve said before that grief waits for you. It not only waits but it attacks when it has the opportunity. Had a rough week, spent a lot of time alone, watching tv, totally rinsing the detective box sets on Netflix, … Continue reading

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Circus Monkey

Been knocked about by grief this week. It’s been beating me like a circus monkey. I look dreadful. Bags and dark circles under my eyes after terrible nightmares when I’ve eventually got to sleep. Feel wretched inside. Should be John’s … Continue reading

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