Tag Archives: loss

(Some of) The physical effects of grief

Last week I came down with a terrible toothache that went up through my eye socket, to the middle of the top of my head and all the way down my right side of my neck. Excruciating.  I have not … Continue reading

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Little things, not so little… part 2

Friend came round to help sort out kitchen so new lodger could have space for her food and kitchen bits. This means sorting through the cupboards to put some stuff down the cellar as John had a LOT of utensils … Continue reading

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The temporary paralysis of grief

In just over three weeks it will be the first year anniversary of John going to be with The Lord, and I feel like I’ve circled back round to deep almost uncontrollable grief, which I did not see coming at … Continue reading

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Honest

I’ll be really honest. Yesterday I was really really low. I was even pleading with the Lord to end my life as soon as he possibly could manage. I’m ready, I’m ready to go to heaven. And I want to … Continue reading

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Visiting.

On the way back to see my Dad for his birthday and see some other family, old friends and pick up my sister for Christmas. Had been looking forward to it, until last night when all of a sudden I … Continue reading

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The fog of grief.

A while ago I joined Widowed and Young, (WAY) but hadn’t really got much out of it as it’s more events based and as I don’t drink it would just be awkward being in pubs and stuff…so haven’t attended any. However, … Continue reading

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The (vicious cycle of) loneliness of being widowed.

Haven’t posted for a long time. Haven’t really had the presence of mind to. Christmas is knackering me up big style. Managed to get my November essay in by the grace of God and even managed to get my highest mark … Continue reading

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He knows…

Women’s conference was hard, but overall good. I didn’t manage to get to all the sessions, and I was a little disappointed by that and surprised at myself, but I’m ok, so it’s ok, if that makes any sense… I … Continue reading

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British Stiff Upper Lip

Not to blow my own trumpet but I’m pretty good at detaching myself from a situation that could overwhelm me and just ‘pushing through’ had to do it loads growing up due to one thing or another just to get … Continue reading

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Hurts so bad.

The pain of grief at the moment is so hard. It’s like a constant dripping. I don’t know what’s really triggered it off, but it maybe that Christmas is looming and I’m feeling particularly lonely and sad without John, and … Continue reading

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