Tag Archives: feelings

Under pressure

Tomorrow is the inquest into my sister’s death. It’s been 6 months since she passed away, and really it’s still hitting me. The last week has been horrible. The pressure I feel at the moment in particular is unlike any … Continue reading

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My broken certitude.

One of the many things that happened when John died was my certitude about things was smashed to pieces which if you have read through my blog I talk about a fair bit. The most worn out phrase I use … Continue reading

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Scared.

Lyrics from a song can be so powerful and this one spoke so much to me: “I walk through desert plains here in the open range. Feel like a renegade looking to runaway. Here in the wilderness I’m coming face … Continue reading

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Tidal Wave.

Yesterday was a day for reminiscing, I went back to the Cathedral I used to work in, and then I went to see my first Vicar and his wife who I adore and It was so good to catch up … Continue reading

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Lyrics

Weekend away was sooo good. Loved it, it was like bright warm sunshine breaking through the clouds of a foggy dark miserable day. Saw old friends which was really really lovely. Learnt about the beautiful Gospel and was taught how … Continue reading

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Small wins.

After a weekend of an avalanche of grief, when in the valley of the shadow you have to take the “small” wins. My wins today are I am up, showered, dogs have been walked and fed and I’ve made and … Continue reading

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Trying to keep going

Didn’t go work on Saturday. Just couldn’t. I had seen something in a shop the day before that had reminded me of John (still can’t bare to think of it to write what it was here…) and it knocked me … Continue reading

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The (kind of, ish) lighter side of grief

My mum told me that when I was really stressed I would sleep talk and sing adverts in my sleep, particularly around the time of my exams and John told me I slept talk when I really stressed and he … Continue reading

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Silence

I’ve been trying to find my blog post where I talk about my uni residential in January but I can’t find it… maybe I dreamt that I wrote which is a high possibility. At my January residential 2 lecturers independently … Continue reading

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Pulled in every direction.

Seen my bereavement therapist. She said I was emotionally exhausted and to take sometime off work to recover. Which I have done. Of course this grief is very different to John’s grief for all the obvious reasons that they were … Continue reading

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