Author Archives: vickmcq
Circus Monkey
Been knocked about by grief this week. It’s been beating me like a circus monkey. I look dreadful. Bags and dark circles under my eyes after terrible nightmares when I’ve eventually got to sleep. Feel wretched inside. Should be John’s … Continue reading
Crushing
The grief at the moment is crushing. I’m trying to do stuff and get on and it just keeps knocking me down. It’s the unbearable, breath taking away kind. Trying to sort out John’s business even the first few bits … Continue reading
Complicated attending.
6 months today John went home to be with the Lord. And no it’s not easier, possibly harder, maybe just different. Sunday means church. I want to enjoy church but I don’t, I really don’t, it’s like when I walk … Continue reading
Home
Haven’t written for a week. With jet lag and my 2 essays it’s been a funny old time. Coming home was nice to see the dogs and be on familiar ground, but there have been times when the feeling of … Continue reading
Robbed
On the plane on the way home. Can’t wait to see my little doggies. Gonna snuggle up to them so tight when I get home. Looking forward to a good cup of tea too. I have had an amazing time … Continue reading
Unstoppable
In one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. Beautiful yellow sand, amazing blue sea with the biggest waves. Palm trees galore. Brilliant sunshine. Chilled out atmosphere. And yet the pain and panic I feel, feel unstoppable. It’s … Continue reading
Patient.
I felt strange that conference had ended. Kind of got used to it. Went for breakfast with friends and met my Pastors there which was good, checked out of hotel and into where I’m staying till tomorrow and then went … Continue reading
