He knows…

Women’s conference was hard, but overall good. I didn’t manage to get to all the sessions, and I was a little disappointed by that and surprised at myself, but I’m ok, so it’s ok, if that makes any sense…

I managed to see dear old friends and people from far away which was excellent and I managed to have good conversations with people about how I am doing and explain a little so they understand which has really helped me. The best part about it, was that God saw my heart and actually granted my hearts desire to get to speak to the founders wife even just for a second and they way that it happened will stay with me forever and I will forever be grateful, as the van with her in pulled away and drove off I thought “Never mind, I’ll have to write to her and tell her what I was going to say” when the van stopped, reversed and stopped in front of me, thinking they had forgotten something, I went to open the door and there she was getting out the van saying “I had to hug you!” I couldn’t believe it but I hugged her and she hugged back tightly. She said she loved me and she had loved my husband… I was overwhelmed. All I wanted to do was thank her for letting me stay in her beach house in the summer, I was not expecting her to say anything like that. It meant such a lot that she would think of John and tell me how she felt about him. She really touched my heart that she would stop the van and have it reverse just for me! I will always remember that moment. God knew that I wanted just a moment with her and it was granted.

I also wanted to have a moment with one more person, but as I had been granted some with Sister Julie I was some what content so wasn’t going to push it, and really thought our paths wouldn’t cross and then yesterday I was invited out to lunch with her. She is the European overseers wife and she is so lovely, again she took time to speak to me, and speak to me about John and tell me how she loves me.

I also got time to spend with another friend who John was very fond of due to them being a missionary. He really had a heart for this couple. I took her to the airport and we chatted about John and all that had happened and she asked me loads of questions which I didn’t find intrusive but was happy that someone was taking an interest. It felt very therapeutic as I thought about things in a way I hadn’t before.

So even though at times the conference was really hard and I missed John sooo so much, especially when I saw people he would be proud of doing well, overall God showed me that He knows me so well. He truly does know my heart and He sees me.

About vickmcq

A person trying to remember to blog!
This entry was posted in Bereavement, Faith, grief, Life, loss and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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