Saturdays used to ace. If there was nothing on at church which to be fair was quite rare, we would spend the day together doing something, we’d go somewhere or if like today the footie was on, we would do something in the morning then get back home to watch the footie together, John really enjoyed it. Was vile watching it alone today. Hated it. Felt so lonely. Can’t believe this is happening. Cried so much I was nearly sick. Just want him here so badly. Honestly have no idea what to do with myself. This should not be happening. And I feel like I want to go home… but I’m at home, yet I can’t shake the feeling. So tired, even though I’ve slept. So bored even though I haven’t had long periods not doing anything today. So upset. Guess I just go to bed now then…. nothing else left to do 😔😢