Head wreck

My head feels so full of so much stuff. It’s like everything I think is up for discussion and I’m exhausted by it. I think one thing, and then wonder about the totally opposite the next, and then come to the conclusion that I have no idea. About big questions about little questions, about things that matter a big deal and things that don’t. But it’s constant and I can’t help it. I mean I’m not even aware I’m doing it until I don’t reach a conclusion. Have you ever seen a cartoon of a machine and it’s going full pelt and steam starts to come out, that’s what it feels like in my head. The only problem is if bits of the machine start to fly off. God I hope that doesn’t start to happen to my mind. I can understand breakdowns now. Trying to keep myself from one but feel dangerously close and it’s frightening. I really feel like I have no control over it, I have no strength to fight it. Can’t tell you how relieved that tomorrow I have counselling with a physcotherapist, at least I will be with someone who may know what I should do. She’s a Christian too so I won’t getting any funky new age babble either. Even though I’m tired I can’t fall to sleep easily, not sure what that’s about either. Gonna snuggle my dogs and play on my iPad till hopefully at some point I drift off. 

About vickmcq

A person trying to remember to blog!
This entry was posted in Bereavement, grief and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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