Thinking about something, trying to articulate it, thought I’d write it in my blog and when I thought of the title I realised I’d already used it so scrolled back to my blog entitled Hmmm… could basically almost just repeat verbatim.
The latter part of last year and in the months before John died I felt like I was about to make a discovery about The Lord… I can’t exactly arriculate it properly, that’s as close as I can get to the feeling I had, whenever I thought about Him, or prayed or worshiped or was in His presence I felt like I was about to either discover something or have something revealed to me. Then my gorgeous John passed away and everything is flipped from top to bottom, round and round. And what’s weird is even though I have so many thoughts and emotions and I’m in one place in my heart and mind one minute and then in a totally different place the next, I still feel like maybe, somehow I might still stumble across whatever it was I was about to learn/discover/know might still happen. Which is weird, cause my relationship with God at the minute is in an almighty tailspin, while I’m trying hang on with all might. Hmmmm…..