Such a boring day today. Did nothing, actually nothing. Cried loads of times. Glad when some people came round, but then slumped back into boring gloominess. Realised I have to attack the day before it attacks me. Just dread everyday cause it’s like I have to keep myself going and busy and doing something when the truth is I actually have nothing to do. Getting to the point where I need to watching what I’m spending so that puts restrictions on how much you can do, and I can tell you right now, there is nothing worth watching on Netflix, amazon or sky TV. Part of me wants to go and do loads of stuff and part of me just can’t face anything. I’m so tired of all the emotions completing against each other. Don’t know what to say to the Lord, apart from “Please Help me.”