Awake since 3am woke up tummy was hurting me, no idea why, still hasn’t settled now, but that’s not why I can’t sleep. Keep trying to not think about certain things, keep asking God why, and what am I gonna do? And how can I keep going? And why should I? I’m so fed up of the silence I receive back. The silence of God is deafening. It’s like I’m talking to thin air. And I can’t feel Gods presence either which worries the heck out of me. When I need Him the most I can’t find him. I have called and the Bible promises He will answer…. but he isn’t…. I need to feel His presence shortly or else I feel I’m gonna lose my mind, the little that I have left of it. Please God I beg you, do something to help me feel you, hear from you, know you’re there, anything please.