Sorrow

Was in Asda buying stuff for breakfast, song came on in the store, I lost the plot, started sobbing my heart out at the checkout, people started looking at me in bewilderment as I tried my best to stifle the sobs and carry on putting my shopping through the self service checkout. Hurried myself out the shop, ran to my car and collapsed in tears once the door was shut. Got home and felt utterly exhausted, just about managed to cook breakfast and then sat and watched for a few hours till the guilt of not taking the dogs out was too much and I took them out in the car to a nice country park. Only lasted about 35 mins though as I felt so wobbly. Came home watched tv, was so gloomy, then the doorbell rang and it was one of my good friends, collapsed in heaps of tears and sobs on her. Had to pull myself together as her boys were with her. Lodger sleeping out tonight. Feeling very lonely and gloomy indeed. Have no idea what to do with myself. Honestly feel like there’s no way through this at the minute, like everything is useless. I find comfort in nothing, and encouragement in nothing. And no I can’t pull myself together, not this time anyway…

About vickmcq

A person trying to remember to blog!
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