Messaged someone yesterday who lost their husband a few years ago but who is in ministry still, and whose ministry is extraordinary, and even though they had been married A LOT longer and they knew his death was coming, I knew that they maybe able to help me along my way. They messaged back and their reply was amazing and it’s doing exactly that, helping me on the way. She told me to try and carry on doing everything that will keep me on course with the Lord and life so I’m gonna try. I watched one of my lectures yesterday and I was reading one of my uni books but had to stop as the issues it was dealing with were too close to home and made my mind spin off in a tangent about John. Still I tried. Im gonna try and go Prayer this evening though that might not happen… don’t want people to jump on me when I walk in, and when I’m there I just want to be left alone. So we’ll see. She also told me some of the prayers she prayed and still prayers which is helping a lot and seeing it from a different angle. Grateful to God for her life and ministry. I needed to know from someone how they found their way in life and ministry after losing such a big part of both of them, and they told me they were still finding their way…and I guess that’s it, we will for the rest of our lives be “finding our way” as we lost it when our husbands died… we were going God’s and their way, now we have to find God’s and our way…