Monthly Archives: March 2017

Floored 

Got up after a horrible dream, took dogs over the park as one of them was too scared to go in the car to the country park. I was a little disappointed but I thought whatever. Got to the bench … Continue reading

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Sorrow

Was in Asda buying stuff for breakfast, song came on in the store, I lost the plot, started sobbing my heart out at the checkout, people started looking at me in bewilderment as I tried my best to stifle the … Continue reading

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The silence

Awake since 3am woke up tummy was hurting me, no idea why, still hasn’t settled now, but that’s not why I can’t sleep. Keep trying to not think about certain things, keep asking God why, and what am I gonna … Continue reading

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Upset

Trying to fight the feeling of being upset as it’s a horrible on the edge and on the brink of tears the whole time, and when I let them go the pain is too much I have to suck it … Continue reading

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The shadow

Went first service today, cried all the way there and through about 85% of it. Thought I was going to burst with the pain at the start. Came home, watched some tv, fell asleep, woke up and feel so tired. … Continue reading

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Can’t even articulate it 

So gloomy and upset today and this evening. Just feel paralysed with grief at the moment. The pain of missing John is unbareable. It’s too much and I need the Lord to intervene, cause I can’t take it. It’s too … Continue reading

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Always in the background..

Yet another strange day today. Had a drive out just for a change of scenery, didn’t help that much. Then went round to my Pastors house and hung out with him and his wife, that was good to be around … Continue reading

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